And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
