WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
