Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
