u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
