Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
