i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
