is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
