i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
