There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
