a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
