He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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