Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
