No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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