I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
