So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
