Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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