I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
