absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
