thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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