whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
