Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
