i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
