I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
