Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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