I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
