I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
