Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
