Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
