we're chasing vodka with high fives
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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