make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
