It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
