'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
