I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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