The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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