drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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