marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
