she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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