I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
