i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I love you. Go after that dick
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
