I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
