ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
