I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
