If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
