I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
