oh god the rape fog is back!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
