hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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