is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
