Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
