Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
