sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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