so explain again why im purple
no
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
