sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
