I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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