I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
