His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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